Henry Ford once said: “Whether you think you are capable or not capable, either way you are right.” In scientific parenting research, this is called “parenting effectiveness”. In other words, your confidence in your parenting abilities matters as much as your actual parenting skills.
According to available research, your ability to believe that you can provide the social, cultural and emotional support to adequately meet your child’s needs has a positive impact on your child’s development.
Parenting effectiveness refers to your belief in your ability to effectively manage the challenges your child faces. Several studies suggest that it has an impact on the development of skills that will enable your child to manage life transitions.
Parenting effectiveness looks at issues such as how far you are willing to go to solve problems, your stress level, how you foster your child’s independence, and the overall satisfaction that parenting brings you.
Effective parenting is also dependent on how well you feel supported and accompanied in your parenting and the quality of your relationships and interactions with others.
According to Bandura’s theory of self-efficacy, the greater your sense of self-efficacy, the more likely you are to take on difficult tasks and persevere. People with a high sense of self-efficacy are also more motivated and more likely to make the right decisions.
In contrast, a low sense of self-efficacy leads to constant questioning, higher levels of anxiety, and flight when faced with difficult tasks. Those who feel low self-efficacy are also more likely to perceive difficult situations as a threat rather than as challenges they are able to overcome.
Fostering a strong sense of self-efficacy is especially important when dealing with young children, because this is an unpredictable time when children learn a lot. In addition, the relationships established in childhood set the stage for good parent-child relationships in adolescence and beyond. Several studies have shown that low parental self-efficacy is associated with behavioral problems in young children and problems such as substance abuse and delinquency in adolescence.
The good news is that parental self-efficacy is not innate. In other words, it’s entirely possible to strengthen your parenting effectiveness. Here are some tips to help you strengthen your sense of parental effectiveness.
1 | Stay Informed
Research confirms what we already know – when you feel competent in your parenting role, you are more likely to be a caring and responsive parent. Parents who are comfortable with their parenting are also more involved in their children’s development and education. It is easier to see yourself as a competent parent when you have the skills to meet your child’s needs.
Being interested in parenting information from reliable sources can help strengthen your sense of parenting effectiveness. That said, it’s important to remember that not all information applies to your family. It is important to carefully select what works for you and your child. Focusing on your strengths and weaknesses to decide what matters most to you is the best way to achieve your goals.
2 | Monitoring does not mean spying
You are more likely to feel confident in your role as a parent when you know what your child is doing. According to behaviourist theory, children imitate the role models with whom they identify. These role models could be their friends and parents, but they could also be TV personalities or other people around your child.
Several studies suggest that children exposed to violent role models are more likely to be less empathetic, engage in antisocial or aggressive behavior, or become more anxious.
It’s important to know who your child is spending time with and what they’re doing, but that doesn’t mean you should spy on them. Watch his favorite show with him at least once, play his video games with him from time to time, get to know the kids he plays with and their families.
3 | Start by working on your stress and anxiety levels
Your level of parenting self-efficacy and your stress level are inseparable. Research suggests that parents with high levels of stress or those with depressive tendencies are more likely to experience low parental self-efficacy. Conversely, the higher the level of parental self-efficacy, the less likely they are to experience anxiety, stress and depression.
Working on the issues that fuel your stress and/or depression is the first step if you want to increase your parenting self-efficacy. In addition, you cannot help your child manage his or her stress and anxiety if you have not yet learned to manage your own.
Other studies suggest that parental self-efficacy increases among parents whose children have learned to respond effectively to their emotions. In fact, your child’s “bad behavior” can often be explained by his or her inability to manage emotions. Strategies tailored to young children can help you teach your child emotion management, which will enhance your sense of parental self-efficacy.
4 | Finding Your Tribe
The more you feel supported in your role as a parent, the easier it will be for you to develop a sense of parenting efficacy. A strong support network is important and the support of your partner is one of the most important determinants of this self-efficacy. Sharing parenting tasks between partners reduces feelings of being overwhelmed and increases your level of confidence in your parenting role.
However, this support can also be provided by different family members and friends. It is this support that has been shown to help you cope with stressful events. Strengthening your support network also means knowing when to avoid people who constantly criticize your parenting style.
5 | Strengthen your child’s self-efficacy
By strengthening your child’s sense of self-efficacy, you also strengthen your own. There are several easy strategies to use to support your child’s self-efficacy. Providing unstructured but creative environments can motivate your child to solve problems on his own and can also foster his creativity.
6 | Increase opportunities to bond with your child
Strong families make time to spend together. Create opportunities for everyone to feel like “part of the family. Start a family ritual. If done properly, family rituals can strengthen family bonds, reduce sibling rivalry, and increase parental self-efficacy.
As Theodore Roosevelt once said: “Believe you can do it and you’re halfway there.